My thanks to Les Berkley. I enjoyed this.

via A Holiday Poem for All – Photo.net Casual Photo Conversations Forum.

A Gearhead’s Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all throught the world

The gearheads had gathered–including both girls.

Their anticipation it grew and it grew,

In hope to find something with better IQ.

The children were finally shipped off to bed.

While visions of X-Boxes danced in their head.

As soon as I knew they were comfortably sleeping,

I scurried upstairs to do some pixel-peeping.

All week we had labored in decking the halls

With pictures of test charts,of cats and brick walls,

But the light of the moon on the new-fallen snow

Made me wish for a sensor with high ISO.

When out in the drive there arose such a clamor,

I thought ’twas a Fed-Ex sent from Adorama.

I opened the window, and saw all alone

Alight on my driveway an Amazon drone.

And standing beside it, light meter in hand,

My wondering eyes saw this strange little man.

With that Moonrise aglow as he trod the macadam,

I knew in a flash it must be Ansel Adams.

His beard was as white as a polished iPad.

‘Round his neck on a strap hung a chrome Hasselblad,

And as he grew closer ’twas incontrovertible

That the lens in his pocket read ‘Triple-Convertible’.

“Merry Christmas,” he said, “or Kwanzaa or Yule.

Now remember a camera’s only a tool.

The worth of your image most often depends

On the nut that is found ’bout a foot from the lens.”

“Only a tool? That’s not very nice,”

Said I, “I was looking for better advice

On Canon on Nikon, on Pentax and Sony,

On whether Ken Rockwell was really a phony.

On zooms versus primes, ballheads that are sloppy,

And whether my lens is a good or bad copy.

How may I obtain that bokeh so fine?

Do I need to purchase a Leica M9?”

The smile never dimmed on his face as he said,

“One thing I must tell you, you hopeless gearhead.

There isn’t a need for these OCD worries,

Your cameras are better than Steve McCurry’s.

“On this special day, I would hope you could see,

Two lenses–no more–sufficed HCB,

And W. Eugene would oft tell the tale,

How his Nikon was useful for driving a nail.”

Then laying his meter in front of his eye,

He and his drone flew up to the sky.

And still I remember his last shouted strictures:

“Stop testing already! Go out and take pictures!”

–Les Berkley

 

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